Here we go again, me, me, and more me, well its MY blog so it has to be me….
Moving here to Aberdeen was quite easy, a few bumps here and there…but over all, it was simple….
Starting my university, was simple too, my supervisors are great, people are helpful, even the summer trainee is also sweet and great….
Here comes the hard part, settling in is getting harder each day.. is settling in should take a while, maybe, don’t know.. its just so hard, and again i have to manage me and my mom, how ever i am tired and need a sleep, i have to wear my smile just for her, she deserves it, but..how about me….???
I have to admit, i am happy through out the day, smiling, and sometimes really smiling, not my fake ones, but still at the end of each day, i cry my self to sleep…i know its pathetic, but the pain is still there..it just gets louder at night when all is quite….i can still feel and hear my heart bleeding, my soul cranking…until the light comes up, then i can sleep when all the world is awake and all the sounds, just cover up and muffle up my thoughts …. then i am happy again and then only i can sleep, when the world is awake…how sad…but that’s me, complex, complicated me..
And again, i have to say, i am wearing my fake smile a little less, and showing my real one a little more….so i think i am on the right path of healing and living….
So hello world…make way….Tahani is alive….
