It’s 2010, happy new year everyone and wishing you all the best for year 2010 and all to come.
I wonder how many times we hear this sentence at the start of each new year. I wonder, again, how could the coming year be better than the previous?? Everything is possible with God, of course.
On the start of every year, i go on this guessing game or actually more realistically a What If ?? game, I ask my self a number of questions, here are some:
- What if, my life did not change drastically, would i be the same person?
- What if, i still had my dad, would i be this complicated person?
- What if, i still had my brother, would i be this calculating, scared person?
- What if, i still had a normal complete healthy family, would i be this sad and lonely?
- What if, i insisted on going abroad and taking the scholarship, would i be this desperate workaholic person?
- What if, i called back, i did just one call, swallowed my pride, would i be a widow now?
- What if, i had all and nothing changed in my personal life, would i be in this job now?
So many what if’s and non will ever have an answer. Sometimes they say ” A blessing in Hiding ” , I dont want to sound grumpy, but I cannt seem to see it, maybe i am either blind or ungrateful.
Honestly, i am not grateful at all, I am grateful for all i have, I am grateful for:
- My Mother
- My half-brother
- My Friends
- My Health
- My Strength
- My Brains
- My Education
- My Money Status
- My JOB
And they are in the ascending order. I think sometimes if non of the above passed in my life, I would never be in the situation I am in or the personality i developed now…..
Any way, these WHAT IF’s, the only thing they do is re-awaken the memories and the re-kindle all the sadness that comes with all the memories.
On the other hand, one has to be fair, As sad as the memories and experiences i had and went through, I lived through and experienced the best, happiest and most exciting memories ever…I had a great life, great experiences, and most of all i had the best family ever…although it went through a 50% discount, but i am still left with the other 50% which is the soul of my soul, and i will give it my all and even more to stay with me and happy…. MAY GOD HELP ME…….
At this point I start thinking of the future, how will this year be?? will i have some of my minute dreams and wishes come true?? will I be happy ?? Will and will and a 100 will’s …no one knows, well we have to wait and see the show, then only we will have some answers to some of the will’s in my head……..
And, Finally before i go, I wish all a REALLY HAPPY GREAT and FULFILLING 2010….. GOD BLESS ALL….
