Unappreciated….

Pain comes in many ways, but one of the worse is being unappreciated. I did a great job of organizing a symposium from scratch, and it was a success by all means. After all the hard work, long nights, worrying, and exhaustion, I did not even get acknowledged by my name. All I got was eye contact,a smile, and a node. All because I am only a masters holder not a PhD. All I do is nothing.

Self Worth….

Who decides how worthy are you?? is it you, i mean, I define and know my self worth, or do people around me do that, or again the community does that. Who has the right to say i deserve what ever i got or on the other hand i don’t deserve what i have.

Who decides this person is enough for me and i don’t deserve someone better, who has the right?? and how gave them that right???

Who has the right to say i should not aim for more and what i have i should be thankful for??

The answer is…………….

NO ONE BUT ME…

So people keep your hands off and your toungs off too, i know what i deserve and i will work hard to reach it and even more..i aim for the stars and beyond and i deserve the stars and even more….

Thats ME….

That is exactly how i feel and what i need….

Hazzards of Work…

Here I am at this job for nearly 4 years – that’s a BIG success for me – I work with men most of the time, well it might sound great, men all around me, but i feel so sick with it. My mobile is filled with single male doctors, but do i get smart and find one for me…no no no..how could i.

Probably its my attitude with them, they all treat me as one of the boys, they joke with me male jokes, talk to me as a male friend…. HAY people i am still a lady here… i swear i am… but no. But i have to be honest and say it, male jokes are the best, they really crack me up.

On holidays i get all kinds of mobile messages to congratulate and celebrate the holiday and its all from men… and here i am cannot get me a decent man, i am confused. Again, probably its me acting so sweet, nice, fun, and hard working with them, i never act as a FEMALE. That’s what i was told, well i am acting as i am, and i am sure i am a female, and they are all probably blind. OK, now i am working with handsome, rich, really good looking, BLIND doctors, THAT’S HOW MY LUCK GOES, well at least i can enjoy the scenery.

Are you a pharmacist or what????

I get annoyed of so many things and from so many people, but the most of all, the one that really ticks me off, makes me want to really strangle this person, you know who?? its a PHARMACIST who does not trust him self, and only trusts what a doctor tells him about what?? guess what?? about medications…. do you believe that, a pharmacist who dont know a squat about any drug, a pharmacist who prefers to work in a hematology lab rather than a pharmacy or a hospital pharmacy.

Well i know someone like that, who prefers to be in the laboratory section doing blood analysis rather than drugs. Who believes anything and everything a doctor tells her about the medication she is taking and its side effects and interactions, and she never trust her self to take a Panadol for her self without consulting the physician first. Pharmacists like that i want to really just take their degrees away, strip it away… why and oh why do they do that?? No one knows….. another confusing dilemma….

Miss Life, Fair Life ???

Through out my life, i made so many mistakes and wrong chices, it left me in a dase and totally confused. What i have now is great, but could it been better, well know one knows, only GOD knows….

One thing for sure is i need a break, i have been working stright for the last seven months, with no breakes at all. That is exhausting and tiring specially in a city like Riyadh, where there is no space for really honist fun. All a person can do here is work, eat, eat, and eat some more. So gaining weight is so easy here.

I miss so many things in my life. What is missing?? could a person miss something he/she never felt or knew or does a person has to experiance something and lose it to miss it?? Could i miss someone i never knew, dont know, maybe. But what i know and sure of is that i really miss life, i miss feeling alive. I miss coming home to a normal full house, where its full of voices, people, and most of all the smell of home coked meal. I know that sounds silly, but it is what i miss, i can miss what ever i want can’t I. On the other, i have to be gratefull for what i do have now. I have what everyone else calls a good life. I have a home with no mortgages, my income is good and its mine, thus my life is ok, I should not complain or miss anything, nor anyone. Is that right? honist to god i dont know. Should I miss my brother and father, or should i not, if my life is good, is it fair?? aha, i come to another verb, fair, what is fair and who defines fair, still confused.

Is life fair, or not, how could it give and take as it likes?? what is the basis of it trade?? could it trade a human life for matrail things?? I think no one knows where life gets all its rules and based on which equation. Should there be one or is it just luck…..aha here we come to another one Luck…..and confusion upon confusion.

What is Luck???

Beyond Tired and Green

Nowadays….i am literally counting the days for a good vacation, i am so tired i can’t think straight anymore i feel i am in a daze of work and paperwork specially…. i honestly need a small tree forest next to me, although i do try to be green, but still i am consuming a lot of papers….. My boss has a weird habit of asking me to do some paper work, when i do it and give it to him, he looks at it in astonishment as if its the best thing he ever saw, making me blow up as big as…….. then after leaving, he slashes the papers and calls me to do another one with 99% changes….. Weird….thus i need a small forest next to me…

Hello world!

Hello World…..

A Very Confused Saudi pharmacist, That is me, has arrived… Since I Got Promoted to Vice Chairman of Pharmacy College, Saudi Arabia, my life has become a serious of confusions…

I feel all i do all day is run to avoid being ran over…. Ran over by whom….don’t have a single idea who…and that is confusing…

Well, welcome to my daily confusions ……. Enjoy.